Are you okay?

2/23/2020

By. Jooyoung Kang

What do you think or feel when “mental health” comes to you?

As Korean American, I never knew how mental health can impact individual life or why people even get one. Mental health stigma placed shapely in my culture where we consider mental illness is for weak or crazy people. Showing that you are emotionally vulnerable is not how we wanted to present ourselves to others. Elders used to say, “Everyone feels that way. But we endure it.” “You are just overly sensitive.” or “You have a really weird personality. You will not get along with others if you have that attitude. Be positive.”

According to the American Psychological Association, Many second-generation Asian Americans deals with mental illness due to many factors, such as:

Academics pressure from family members
The taboo of mental illness
Racial discrimination
Balancing two different cultures

Soon as we realize that we were a hidden minority group in America, we wash away our rooted culture from us. As a girl who came from an immigrant family, in order to fit into American society, I had two conflicting cultures fighting against each other on many perspectives. Because of my emotions feeling ashamed of my Korean accent, felt embarrassed due to my Korean name that teachers mispronounce on every attendance, had to care if my look was “too Asian”, whatever that means, I was a muted girl for 7 years of my education up until college. I finally exploded with anxiety and panic attacks during my 3rd year of college when I couldn’t handle any more with everything. The pressure of being a good student with good grades, forcing myself to do work that I’m not doing well of to make my parents proud and make them feel that it was worth it for them to sacrifice their life in America for me, and to be a good worker or good friend who loved other more than herself even though it never ended up well.

Culture Matters: Indigenous Perspectives on Behavioral Healthcare film shows how indigenous groups use their own culture to help others with mental illness. Enduring and practicing their culture as a program was significant care that was different from my own Asian American people when they’re trying to gain mental health. I do believe it is very important for us to accept and ensure our own-rooted culture in order to build my own values instead of other values. Especially as an immigrant, it is hard to fit yourself into a new society and community with judgments just because of a difference. Only if I knew how to embraced my culture and learned how to cherish myself instead of comparing and self blamed through multiple discrimination as an Asian girl with an expected quiet role in the majority of the society.

After the breakdown, I decided to see a counselor. More than I ever expected, so many college students were seeking mental health resources just to make sure they are healthy to continue with their academic life. It was like getting a flu shot for your mental health. After going for a few sessions, I developed skills to understand that accepting and expressing was very important to me. I also learned to encourage others who have the same stigma of seeking mental health services to get help.

I wanna share The Power of Okay campaign that was created by SeeMe from Scottland to encourage employers to openly talk about mental health and support without feeling judged or discriminated against. The majority of us might experience how we SHOULD be okay because we are young to be depressed but we have experienced a bad day or some thinkings that you cannot unwind it. A simple question such as “are you okay” can help others to speak with confidence and open up about their mental health. It is so simple yet it can go such a long way for someone. For all of you who are reading this, it is okay not to be okay (From Jessie J Who U are).
Let’s ask each other this. Are you okay?

References

Nishi, K. (n.d.). Mental Health Among Asian Americans . Retrieved February 26, 2020, from https://www.apa.org/pi/oema/resources/ethnicity-health/asian-american/article-mental-health

Xie, K. (2016, July 16). What It's Like to Be an Asian-American With Depression. Retrieved
February 23, 2020, from https://themighty.com/2016/07/living-with-depression-as-an-asian-american/

See Me is Scotland's Programme to tackle mental health stigma and discrimination. (n.d.). Retrieved February 26, 2020, from https://www.seemescotland.org/resources/campaign-resources/power-of-okay/

Piedad, J. R. (2018, August 19). How Can We Change Minds About Mental Health? Retrieved February 26, 2020, from https://www.tpr.org/post/how-can-we-change-minds-about-mental-health

Culture Matters: Indigenous Perspectives on Behavioral Healthcare. (2011). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=693&v=yfdCaFEls_c&feature=emb_title

5 Comments

Dolma Sherpa

2/27/2020 08:45:50 am

Hi Jooyoung, many children of immigrants sacrifice their mental health for their parent’s pride and dignity. Being forced to pursue careers or majors that they have no interest in so their parents can show face in the community or the kids feel guilty and feel like they owe to their parents because they struggled a lot to raise them. It’s a toxic relationship.
I totally relate to mispronouncing names or people wondering why you don’t have “English” name just like others. Many of them used to mispronounce my name and I used to let it slide and not correct them but I realized my name is my identity, and allowing someone else to say it wrong is stripping me of my identity. So now I proudly correct others if they mispronounce my name because getting someone’s name right is a sign of respect and in turn, it creates an environment in which owing your name is the norm.
Thanks for sharing!

Haley Barton

2/27/2020 12:19:07 pm

Hi Jooyoung,
Thank you for your vulnerable post. Hearing a firsthand account of your experience as an Asian American suffering with your mental health was very eye opening for me. I never realized the pressure Asian Americans face to “assimilate” to American culture. I am happy to hear that you have taken the steps to improve your mental health my seeking counseling. I hope that by sharing your story others in a similar situation will feel encouraged to take care of their mental health as well.

Marisol Bejarano

2/27/2020 03:28:02 pm

Hi Jooyoung,
I understand the feeling of having to be perfect! My parents always made it very clear that my siblings and I had to do the best we could in school because they never had the chance to. The feeling of guilt would wash over me if I didn't do everything I could to get good grades when I was younger and then eventually, they just expected me to continue getting good grades as I grew older. I also had a breakdown once I was in College and I remember feeling so depressed, but I didn't really understand why "personal mental health days", sometimes you just need to do you and that's okay.

Megan Pintok

2/27/2020 08:57:26 pm

Hi Jooyoung, thank you for sharing your story. It is very brave of you and I can extremely relate to it. Myself growing up in a split Asian American home, it is hard having to constantly live up to the expectations of my Asian mother as being the perfect, good grade student that strives to be in the medical field. Growing up, it was hard for me to talk to my parents about my depression and other issues I was going through. Forwarding to the present, it is still hard for me to talk to them about the anxiety and depression I face trying so hard in everything I do for them as far as studying hard and living up to their expectations. I know it is not easy and I am so glad that I can relate to you and your story. Stay strong! Thank you for sharing

Savannah Compton

3/9/2020 01:12:00 am

Thank you for sharing such a personal story that was probably hard to share. I wish you never had to go through that. Mental illness is a serious thing and not often talked about. Seeing a counselor is a great thing that i encourage everyone to do. Being in college and all the pressures of that and everything else in life is alot on a person mentally. My husband and I go to counseling because of all the stresses in our life and the issues like finances put strains on people. Going to counseling to be able to talk to someone about how your felling and your problems helps so much for people. For me it helps out a lot with college, working, keeping up with the house and having kids is a lot to handle mentally. I loved the video you included and i think its great that you also encourage people to seek help with mental health.

Are you okay?

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