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I didn't know I was a Feminist...Until Now

1/26/2020

9 Comments

 
* Note: This is from my personal writing journal for my Women's Global Health and Human Rights class at the University of Washington - Bothell.


I didn’t know I was a feminist… until now. 

I come from Hispanic parents who even though left their country to give my siblings and me a better life, never forgot their origin; so naturally, they brought their culture with them. Oh, how beautiful our culture is, all the tacos and tamales we got for special occasions, the parties with mariachi, and quinceañera’s (our version of a sweet sixteen). Yet, all that beauty comes with a price, as I imagine all cultures do, because with our culture comes, “machismo”. This attribute in men which made them believe that women had to obey their every word that women had to stay home and take care of the kids because that's what they were meant to do. And if you didn’t, well then you were a bad woman, and no one would ever want you as a wife. So, like Roxane Gay mention in her writing Bad feminists, being called a “feminist” scared me because I didn’t want to be seen as a bad woman.

Ever since I was a little girl my dad made it very clear that because my older sister and I were women we had to learn to listen, when he wanted a beer we had to fetch and when he was hungry, we had to make something for him, so we did. We took care of the younger children, cooked, cleaned, and fetched, like a good girl would, until one day I was I got tired. I got tired of seeing my dad yell at my mother and make her cry because he would come home drunk in the middle of the night, I got tired of being told that I was worthless if I didn’t know how to clean or cook, I got tired of hearing that if I didn’t listen then I would end up alone. The thought of having a life like my mother’s made me sick, but most of all it made me angry. Unfortunately, my mother never finished school because her family was poor and she had to stay home to do chores, in Mexico that was what women had to do. Being poor and a woman made it difficult for my mother to get an education, like many other women around the world I believe. This is an issue because if they cannot get an education, then they cannot get a better job, which helps them get a better income, needed to take care of their health and their families. That is where intersectionality comes in; Kimberle Crenshaw mentions in The Urgency of Intersectionality, that to fix a problem you first have to be able to see it. If no one is looking and understanding that these women are experiencing an issue that violates their human rights to education, then it will never be fixed, at that is not okay with me.

I was smart and my mother knew that because my teachers always seemed to notice and never forgot to mention it during those parent-teacher conferences. So, all she ever asked from me and my older sister was to finish our education because a man can leave you, but your education cannot, and if you cannot support yourself than you’ll always rely on someone else, and that was what scared me the most. I wasn’t going to depend on anyone, especially not a man because I was smart, I had the opportunity to get an education and work for anything I wanted as most men do, I guess that’s what most deeply roots me to feminism. I believe that everyone deserves an education, especially women who have been denied the right to for so long. I still don’t understand why though. Why wouldn’t you want women to learn? I always liked school, maybe not the school itself or friends that came along with those schools, but learning, the process of learning something new made me feel free like I could do anything in the world. This makes me feel happy and it allows me to focus on other aspects of my life, like my health and I think that everyone deserves that opportunity. 

I’m a feminist because it makes me angry and sad to see that so many girls in the world don’t get to go to school because it’s not in their cultural norms. I’m a feminist because I think that women can work in whatever profession they choose because we’re all human. I’m a feminist because I don’t think that a woman has to stay home to cook and clean for their husbands and children, we are much more than that. Just because I think this way that doesn’t mean I judge anyone who prefers to stay home and take care of the family, that’s perfectly fine if that is what they want. 

Reference list:
Gay, Roxane (PDF). Bad Feminist. The Virginia Quarterly Review, Vol. 88, No.4, The Female Conscience (FALL 2012), pp. 88-95 Published by the University of Virginia. 

Crenshaw, Kimberlé (2016, Dec 7). The urgency of Intersectionality, Ted Talk.
​

9 Comments
Janely Gonzalez
1/26/2020 03:43:03 pm

Thank you for sharing your story! I can definitely tell you are a powerful women. Being Latina myself I can relate to a lot of things you mentioned, I didn't want to be seen as a feminist because as you said we would be "seen as bad women" in a male dominate culture, where woman are already seen less than. There are so many underlying motives to feminism and I hope we can help make a difference in today's society!

Reply
Danielle Lee
1/26/2020 05:22:31 pm

Wow! What a powerful post, thank you for sharing your story. My mother immigrated to the United States at the age of 14 and as I grew up, I watched her rely on a man as well. Education is powerful and just as your mother said, a man can leave you, but your education won't. I too didn't realize I was a feminist because of the bad reputation and stigma that feminism had as I was growing up. I hope other woman are opening up to feminism and understanding its true purpose and responsibility.

Reply
Gellila Solmon
1/26/2020 05:46:05 pm

This is a beautiful story! I love what your mother told you about "finishing your education because a men can leave you but your education can not!" This is a belief that my mother also believe in, telling us to take advantage of our education and make something of it. Thank you for sharing a powerful story.

Reply
TJ Kapil
1/26/2020 05:58:09 pm

Hi, I thought your post was very powerful and inspiring!
Being a man, I can't relate to the pain you might of felt growing up, but I have seen other women in my family being dominated by men before. I believe women should be treated equally to men and have the right to do what ever they please without being criticized by anyone else. I think feminism is incredibly important in our world today and I feel all men should really try to understand the problems women face and support them.

Reply
Honey Cin
1/27/2020 07:44:34 pm

What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing. Raising in a country where gender norm is being practiced, I could relate to the hardship experience you face for being a girl. Because of what I was taught since I was born, I normalized the expectation my culture has on women and "I didn't want to be seen as a bad woman," as you said. Now I understand the purpose of feminism, and I can say that I am a feminist. I hope we all will understand what it means to be a feminist and support it.

Reply
Dezha S.
2/2/2020 11:27:39 pm

For starters, great title! It really caught my attention and made me want to actually read your post and to find connections between what kind of information that you provided to your actual title and wow I really enjoyed reading it. I like how you started with giving a bit of background information on who you are, where you came from, your family and your time in school leading up to why you didn’t know you were a feminist until now and what that looked like to you. It is important that you understand what is right and what is wrong in the world and you are able to show some kind of reaction based on what is going on. Good for you for going against the “norm” of gender roles and being your own person, making your own rules and living life the way that you want to in a way that makes you happy and, in a way, that best benefits you. “that’s perfectly fine if that is what they want” with this sentence it shows how you are able to still show your support and understanding towards others without completely putting them down even if that is not exactly how you are choosing to live.

Reply
Mariam Elias
3/11/2020 01:20:48 am

Hello,
I felt very moved by your post and the strength I sensed while reading your post. I agree with every word you said about how education makes the girl powerful and unstoppable, it makes her also beautiful in and out. Every girl should have this right; to go to school, explore herself, be supported by her family first, and to just be whatever she wants to be in the future. Great post, thank you.

Reply
Dolma
3/11/2020 07:09:47 am

"Education and knowledge are the power of the minorities in this country" - Philip Vera Cruz

I see many parents saving money and even taking money out to marry their daughter in a lavish way. I wish that they would rather spend those money on her education. It is heartbreaking to see that so many young girls are rather married at an early age than they are sent to school. Thank you for sharing your personal story!

Reply
Joo Kang
3/15/2020 01:08:49 am

Hello!
I really loved your blog post and it was something I can relate to it so much. Even though I am GWSS major student, I wondered if myself is feminist or can be considered to be one. But same as you, I realized how it boils my blood if I hear about women being discriminated from opportunities just because they are gender to the brutal level, and have right to choose their life instead of society, family or their men.
Thank you for the post that I can relate so much!

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