Mother and Child rights

2/17/2020

Nobody can force me to have a child
The journey from a lady to a mother is wild
The life coming in the world will be my responsibility
So, the future of this child will depend on my capability
Being a mother is not about giving birth
It’s about raising humans for the benefits of this earth
So, when I think about becoming a mother
I want all my attention towards the child and nothing other
I only plan to bring a life in this world when I’m ready
That is when I am mentally prepared, and everything is steady

I wrote this poem, because I know how hard it is for us women to be fully responsible for our pregnancy and after we give birth which not too many people understand that. As it was mentioned in 6.2 Reproductive Justice “the complete physical, mental, spiritual, political, social, and economic well-being of women and girls, based on the full achievement and protection of women's human rights”. And that’s how Loretta Ross defines Reproductive Justice which I fully support and agree.
Since I grew up in Egypt, which is considered as a developing country, infertility has always been an issue there. My father is a gynecologist in Egypt, and I remember him telling me how infertility can damage a marriage and a whole family’s life. It was a real issue there, because of many reasons. The first reason is if the couple got married and didn’t get pregnant within the first year, then they assume she is the one who has problems and they start to talk behind her back and how she is useless and not worthy enough to have a baby (primary infertility). Like it was mentioned in 6.4 Global Perception of Infertility article, “In developing countries, the % is a little higher, with 25% or 1 in 4 couples having reported being impacted by infertility (as reported on Demographic Health Surveys from 1990 and 2000)”. Which means the percentage of infertility is very high in developing countries like Egypt. Not only that, but if the woman didn’t have a baby boy, they think she is hated by God and it is a punishment from him to not have a baby boy who can carry the family’s name on (secondary infertility). And that was on of the psychosocial burdens of Infertility in Global Perceptions of Infertility. Many people in Egypt are not aware that men can be the reason why their women are not getting pregnant. So, they need to be aware of how fertility works and how it is not only the women’ responsibility. Moreover, women need to know how to seek an appropriate infertility care and how to stop to blame themselves when it happens to them. Because seeking infertility care is one of the women’ rights as humans.

By Mariam Elias

11 Comments

TJ Kapil

2/17/2020 11:09:23 am

Hi, Thanks for posting! I really enjoyed reading your poem and think it is very deep and touching. I agree that it's a women's right to decide when to have a child, and no one should have to decide for her. I feel that a child can have the best life when its mother is completely ready for the responsibility. I also agree that people especially in developing countries should be given an education explaining that women are not always the reason for infertility. Even if women are the reason, they shouldn't be blamed because I feel there is nothing wrong with that.

Caitlin Wort

2/17/2020 05:22:55 pm

Your post was really interesting to read. I really enjoy learning about other countries customs and beliefs so I appreciate you explaining how things differ from the life we live here and how people live in Egypt. It’s upsetting to me that women are almost forced to have children after they get married, I believe that they should have the right to do so when they feel they can fully care for the child and be a good mother. Your poem was very deep and helped give a good introduction to the rest of your blog post. Great job!

Selena Sorn

2/18/2020 12:22:12 pm

This was a nicely written poem! Seeing that if a women doesn't give birth to a boy, it is seen as punishment shows how important education is. Men should be educated on how they play a role in fertility instead of putting all the blame on women. Additionally, women have the right to decide when they are ready to have a baby, no one should be able to make that decision for her. When women are forced to have a child, they could be mentally unprepared. This could cause detrimental affects to health for the woman and the baby.

Aliyah Sop

2/18/2020 03:00:35 pm

Hello! Thank you so much for sharing with us your work in writing a poem. I think that short poems like this hold so much emotion and capacity for people to take away a lot, from what looks like a small stanza. My favorite part of the poem is the line "So, the future of this child will depend on my capability" I think that is something that not a lot of people consider, women are just "baby making objects" but mental health of a mother is something really important to consider when thinking of the responsibility of brining another human being into the world. Thank you again for sharing.

Haley Barton

2/18/2020 03:05:26 pm

Hello, and thank you for sharing such a touching poem. This really puts into prospective the realities of pregnancy, childbirth and most of all raising children. Having a child is so much more than pregnancy and labor but about how well you can care for this child and teach it to become a responsible adult free of adversity. As we have learned in this course, childhood adversity leads to increased risk of major health problems throughout the lifetime and this is something very important to consider before even deciding to conceive.

Dezha S.

2/18/2020 07:54:44 pm

Awe, I really like this poem! I could draw so many different connections after reading each line. I feel like you are POSITIVELEY speaking to a bunch of people that could definitely relate in many ways without personally attacking or putting them down or judging who they are as a person let alone a mother. I agree that even though one is able to have a kid does not always mean that they are ready you have to consider more than “I want baby” you also have to consider if you are actually ready to provide the needed care for someone other than yourself, think about if you are able to financially support your child, provide a constant roof over their head, your current living situation, are you mentally and emotionally prepared. I also like how you were able to draw connections back to where you are from and the reproductive aspects that play an important role and what they may look like for someone living and choosing to start + raise a family in Egypt.

Really great job and I am glad that you shared this with everyone. Thank you!

Dezha S.

2/18/2020 07:55:41 pm

*positively

Jaya Cross

2/22/2020 07:18:42 pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story and more importantly the poem. I completely agree with what you stated in the poem about giving your attention to your child. My mother had my sister and I before finishing school which made the family dynamic stressful. My goal is to work as I can and complete all my education so that I can be financially stable to raise a child. I do not think that you can be prepared for parenthood, but being able to afford having a family is ideal for me.

Jody Early

2/24/2020 10:07:02 pm

What an amazing poet you are, Mariam! Can I share and credit you the next time I teach this course?

Mariam Elias

3/11/2020 01:00:14 am

Hello Jody, of course you can :)

Dolma

3/11/2020 07:26:40 am

Hi,

Your poem is brilliant and touching! It is true that motherhood is difficult and not everyone wants to be a part of it. Others should know that being a mother is not everyone's dream or goal in life and that doesn't mean that they aren't a "real" women. Also, I agree that men can also pay a huge role in determining pregnancy and women aren't the one to blame for infidelity.
Thanks for sharing!

Mother and Child rights

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