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Culture and THE SHAME OF HAVING MENTAL ILLNESS

2/25/2020

13 Comments

 
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non-copyrighted picture https://pixabay.com/illustrations/mental-health-mental-illness-women-1420801/
By: Dolma Sherpa
Growing up, I thought I was emotionally and mentally healthy. I had a huge family and we were a lively and tight-knit group consisting of around 20 blood relatives and hundreds of non-blood relatives. We have family gatherings twice a month and big holiday parties a lot. Everyone knew each other’s business and everytime my distant family members saw me, all they asked me was about school, my future, commented on my weight, skin color, and just those "normal" things.

But when I look back, I realize that we never talked about important topics and mental health was rarely discussed. Even if they talked about mental health or illness, it was always in a negative way and hushed tones. The Ted Talk “How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime”  by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris talks about how our childhood shapes who we become as an adults and how exposure to adversity affects the "developing brains and bodies of children" (Harris, 2014). I totally agree with this statement. Being raised in that sort of environment changed the way I perceived mental health. I could tell by the way they talk or more like gossip about others' mental illness, it was always negative and seen as a sign of weakness. It was considered "shame" to talk about your mental illness and the stigma that was associated with mental health restrained me and engrained those false beliefs in my mind.

When I was around 12 years old, I remember at one of our family gathering, one of my older cousin spoke about her mental health and how she is depressed and anxious all the time. Her statement changed the whole vibe of our gathering, everyone was silent but she still continued talking about how her parents always forced her to be "perfect" and successful. She went on and on about her struggles during childhood and how that have impacted her adulthood. Everyone was shocked to hear the truthful confession but what she said afterwards stunned everyone in that room. I still remember this scene like it was yesterday, she stood up and confessed, "I have been seeing therapist for months".
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From such a young age, I have been told that seeking counseling or help is a sign of weakness and only people who are "crazy" goes to those therapy session. That false belief was instilled in my mind by my family and relatives. When my cousin confessed, she wasn't trying to change the perception of her parents at all. She was trying to tell those who are hiding their "weakness" and struggles because of stigma and shame, that it is okay to seek help and it is okay to be not okay! Because of her braveful confession, so many young adults in my family are open to seeking counseling and opening about their mental illness. However, mental health is still being talked in a hushed tones in my extended family but when we understand ourselves well enough then it doesn't matter what others think about us, not at all. My parents have been very supportive and doing their best to understand my struggles and trying to educate themselves about the importance of mental health. Just like Elyn Saks mentioned on her Ted Talk, "we need to invest more resources into research and treatment of mental illness" and spread awareness and positive attitude toward mental health and mental illness in order to eliminate any form of stigma and discrimination that is associated with mental health (Saks, 2012). 

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References
Harris, N. B. (2014). How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime. Retrieved fromhttps://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime
Saks, E. (2012, June). A tale of mental illness -- from the inside. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/elyn_saks_a_tale_of_mental_illness_from_the_inside?language=en
13 Comments
Allie Boyer
2/25/2020 01:39:53 pm

Hi Dolma!
I agree that culture and environment can have an impact on how one perceives mental health. Thank you for sharing your families personal experiences with seeking therapy. It was wonderful to hear that your cousins confession had a positive ripple effect on other family members. In my personal life, my whole life my family sort of looked down on seeking therapy. But the older all of us have gotten, the more comfortable we have all felt to be open and honest with each-other about how we are feeling mentally and how we want to move forward with seeking help. Thank you for sharing! Great response.

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Kathy Luangrath
2/25/2020 09:15:12 pm

Hi Dolma, I enjoyed reading your blog post! As an individual with a similar background in race, I could personally relate to your experiences in regard to mental health. Mental health is rarely spoken within my family. But when we do, my family often refers mental illness as something negative. I actually find the word (or phrase in this case) we use to refer mental illness as extremely off-putting and highly stigmatized. This notion has also contributed to my family believing in false beliefs. That said, I truly admire your cousin's bravery and stand to speak up! I am hoping that the future is much more bright and filled with more acceptance of mental health. Thank you for sharing!

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Joo Kang
2/26/2020 12:22:07 pm

I can't relate more enough when you mentioned how seeking counselor was something that I shouldn't be doing because that's only for people with CRAZY illness. I really do believe that seeking counselor culture can bring even more negative result to mental health because you are constantly thinking what is wrong. Thank you for sharing your story with us and also relatable!

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Janely Gonzalez
2/26/2020 01:21:57 pm

Hi Dolma, thank you for brining up culture and stigmas on mental health. A lot of people can relate to feeling ashamed or weak if they talk about mental health within their families. Mental health and medicine in general can have a lot of stigma and something I think about a lot is how families have their own approaches and perspectives to treating an illness. For example, some cultures believe in treating an illness at home with home remedies and look down on seeking care or counseling. Thanks for sharing!

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Selena Sorn
2/26/2020 03:52:01 pm

Hi Dolma,
Thanks for sharing your story! I agree that our childhood experiences shape who we become as adults. Thinking back to my childhood, I don't think there was ever a time mental health was talked about in my family. Although it was never talked about, I can sense that some of my family members were experiencing mental health issues. They might not have wanted to share what they are going through due to stigma or fear of being judged. This goes to show that there needs to be more awareness of mental health and that we need to be open to the topic so others are comfortable to share how they are feeling.

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Haley Barton
2/27/2020 12:12:00 pm

Hello Dolma, thank you for your open and honest post. The stigma around mental health in Asian cultures sounds very similar to that of southern cultures. I am from Texas and talking about mental health in my community was nearly unheard of. My family was different because my father has openly suffered from PTSD from his traumatic childhood and this was something, we all talked about at home. But in public I was embarrassed about my dads struggles with mental illness and looking back, I can see that this was because our culture made mental illness seem weak. Though there is still a lot of work that needs to be done in this area, I am happy to say that I believe things are changing for the better.

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Marisol Bejarano
2/27/2020 03:15:45 pm

Hi Dolma,
I was raised the same exact way and I believe that the way that everyone responds to mental health is very similar in many cultures. I'm Hispanic and I never realized until know that my family never talked about mental health at all and unfortunately the word crazy was used one to many times. Now I realize that many adults never had the experience of learning about mental health and so it was just something that they don't understand, and I think that, that is where fear comes in. I think. the best way to overcome some of this stigma is through education on mental health!

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Megan Pintok
2/27/2020 08:10:24 pm

Hi Dolma, I can really relate to your story as I come from an Asian background and faced depression and other mental issues throughout middle school and high school. When it got to a point to where the school had to contact my parents for my safety, my mom came into the counseling office and listened to my counselor suggest I need mental health counseling appointments at the local mental health center. When we were transferred to the mental health center, I remember my mom saying "Look at where we are" and she was literally ashamed of me for being "weak" and ending up in a place for mentally unstable individuals. To this day it still impacts me and makes me want to raise awareness that mental health is nothing to be ashamed of and should be addressed as part of regular health. Thank you for sharing!

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Dolma Sherpa
2/28/2020 03:06:54 pm

Reading all of your comments made me realize how rarely we discuss mental health in our lives. How much as a community we still need to work on providing more resources, properly educate others on mental health, and spread positivity to eliminate any form of stigma and discrimination.

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Lauren Toth
3/2/2020 07:33:39 pm

Hi Dolma,
Thank you so much for sharing a personal and empowering story. Your post is such a great example of how culture plays a critical role in how people think and feel, in both positive and negative ways. It's amazing to learn about your cousin opening up the conversation about mental health, and staying true to herself and not trying to hide anything about herself or her life. It's also great that your parents are learning ways to best support you as well, and equally great you are able to have the open conversations with your family. Thank you again for sharing!

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Honey Cin
3/3/2020 08:28:33 pm

Hi Dolma,
Thank you for sharing your family story. I agree with you that culture has a significant impact on how one perceives mental illness. In my experience, I find that it is more challenging for the older generation to accept or speak up on the issues around mental illness. However, with more education, I hope that more people will be aware of how big mental illness is and give some support in the future.

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Yuta Chen
3/6/2020 03:45:37 pm

Hi Dolma,
Thank you for sharing your personal experience. I feel like I can relate to your experience which I also grew up in Asia, and I remember it was pretty rare to see people discussing the topic of mental health especially in a family gathering event. I also think your cousin was brave that she was able to talk about her struggle, I understand it is not easy to discuss the topic in Asian culture. Just like you mentioned, seeking help is a sign of weakness and only "crazy" people go to mental health therapy, I feel bad about how people treat and view those people with mental illness because it is not right, and this is a perfect example of how culture impact people's perspective on mental health.

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Raiye Abunie
3/7/2020 09:29:15 pm

Hello Dolma,

This is very interesting as I began reflecting on the things which my family and I never discussed about, the real issues behind mental health and mental growth. My immediate family as well as extended family gather together once a month, every month. I realized that we ask very general questions, such as how are you? how was school/work/life? While those questions ask our level of mental balance, it doesn't know into the specifics or issues we're dealing with. As the only girl in a household of two younger brothers, as well as a mother of a single son I was always to keep my feelings, thoughts or worries to myself. This seemed very unhealthy. Within the East African culture, specifically Ethiopian culture, mental health and therapy aren't topics widely discussed within the community. We are often told to keep our problems to ourselves, or we do not need "professional" help. I however, believe if we are able to eliminate these issues or cultural beliefs/sigmas we can help those facing mental health issues due to cultural impact early on.

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