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By: Dolma Sherpa
Growing up, I thought I was emotionally and mentally healthy. I had a huge family and we were a lively and tight-knit group consisting of around 20 blood relatives and hundreds of non-blood relatives. We have family gatherings twice a month and big holiday parties a lot. Everyone knew each other’s business and everytime my distant family members saw me, all they asked me was about school, my future, commented on my weight, skin color, and just those "normal" things.
But when I look back, I realize that we never talked about important topics and mental health was rarely discussed. Even if they talked about mental health or illness, it was always in a negative way and hushed tones. The Ted Talk “How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime” by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris talks about how our childhood shapes who we become as an adults and how exposure to adversity affects the "developing brains and bodies of children" (Harris, 2014). I totally agree with this statement. Being raised in that sort of environment changed the way I perceived mental health. I could tell by the way they talk or more like gossip about others' mental illness, it was always negative and seen as a sign of weakness. It was considered "shame" to talk about your mental illness and the stigma that was associated with mental health restrained me and engrained those false beliefs in my mind.
When I was around 12 years old, I remember at one of our family gathering, one of my older cousin spoke about her mental health and how she is depressed and anxious all the time. Her statement changed the whole vibe of our gathering, everyone was silent but she still continued talking about how her parents always forced her to be "perfect" and successful. She went on and on about her struggles during childhood and how that have impacted her adulthood. Everyone was shocked to hear the truthful confession but what she said afterwards stunned everyone in that room. I still remember this scene like it was yesterday, she stood up and confessed, "I have been seeing therapist for months".
From such a young age, I have been told that seeking counseling or help is a sign of weakness and only people who are "crazy" goes to those therapy session. That false belief was instilled in my mind by my family and relatives. When my cousin confessed, she wasn't trying to change the perception of her parents at all. She was trying to tell those who are hiding their "weakness" and struggles because of stigma and shame, that it is okay to seek help and it is okay to be not okay! Because of her braveful confession, so many young adults in my family are open to seeking counseling and opening about their mental illness. However, mental health is still being talked in a hushed tones in my extended family but when we understand ourselves well enough then it doesn't matter what others think about us, not at all. My parents have been very supportive and doing their best to understand my struggles and trying to educate themselves about the importance of mental health. Just like Elyn Saks mentioned on her Ted Talk, "we need to invest more resources into research and treatment of mental illness" and spread awareness and positive attitude toward mental health and mental illness in order to eliminate any form of stigma and discrimination that is associated with mental health (Saks, 2012).
References
Harris, N. B. (2014). How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime. Retrieved fromhttps://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime
Saks, E. (2012, June). A tale of mental illness -- from the inside. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/elyn_saks_a_tale_of_mental_illness_from_the_inside?language=en
But when I look back, I realize that we never talked about important topics and mental health was rarely discussed. Even if they talked about mental health or illness, it was always in a negative way and hushed tones. The Ted Talk “How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime” by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris talks about how our childhood shapes who we become as an adults and how exposure to adversity affects the "developing brains and bodies of children" (Harris, 2014). I totally agree with this statement. Being raised in that sort of environment changed the way I perceived mental health. I could tell by the way they talk or more like gossip about others' mental illness, it was always negative and seen as a sign of weakness. It was considered "shame" to talk about your mental illness and the stigma that was associated with mental health restrained me and engrained those false beliefs in my mind.
When I was around 12 years old, I remember at one of our family gathering, one of my older cousin spoke about her mental health and how she is depressed and anxious all the time. Her statement changed the whole vibe of our gathering, everyone was silent but she still continued talking about how her parents always forced her to be "perfect" and successful. She went on and on about her struggles during childhood and how that have impacted her adulthood. Everyone was shocked to hear the truthful confession but what she said afterwards stunned everyone in that room. I still remember this scene like it was yesterday, she stood up and confessed, "I have been seeing therapist for months".
From such a young age, I have been told that seeking counseling or help is a sign of weakness and only people who are "crazy" goes to those therapy session. That false belief was instilled in my mind by my family and relatives. When my cousin confessed, she wasn't trying to change the perception of her parents at all. She was trying to tell those who are hiding their "weakness" and struggles because of stigma and shame, that it is okay to seek help and it is okay to be not okay! Because of her braveful confession, so many young adults in my family are open to seeking counseling and opening about their mental illness. However, mental health is still being talked in a hushed tones in my extended family but when we understand ourselves well enough then it doesn't matter what others think about us, not at all. My parents have been very supportive and doing their best to understand my struggles and trying to educate themselves about the importance of mental health. Just like Elyn Saks mentioned on her Ted Talk, "we need to invest more resources into research and treatment of mental illness" and spread awareness and positive attitude toward mental health and mental illness in order to eliminate any form of stigma and discrimination that is associated with mental health (Saks, 2012).
References
Harris, N. B. (2014). How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime. Retrieved fromhttps://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime
Saks, E. (2012, June). A tale of mental illness -- from the inside. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/elyn_saks_a_tale_of_mental_illness_from_the_inside?language=en
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