
There were times when she would come into family practice with questions on medication or urgent care and her primary care provider that she trusted was either not available or wasn’t in that day. She wasn’t able to be her true self and often held back the more personal details which could have been crucial to her care. Although providers were usually nice and welcoming, she just wasn’t comfortable enough to show who she really way. Even checking in at the desk she felt judged when her preferred name or gender was not acknowledged or expressed in conversation. Phone calls with her insurances were the worst, I was there ready with tissues for tears because of how stressed she got. Some things weren’t covered, they wouldn’t talk to my company about the legal name or sex changes, and essentially having things lead back to her parents before she was ready was a big problem. One big issue we had together was getting a certain medication refill. There was loss communication with the provider and the outside pharmacy about a self-injected medication that couldn’t be solved in a timely manner with the doctor of the day because of what was discussed one-on-one with Jessica and her provider. On our worst days she would leave without care because all the stress was too much to handle, and as a friend and employer I felt like I failed my job in both positions.
When discussing sexual identity and how it affects their overall healthcare, Jessica really brought some realization to my eyes. She said she knows that providers are not supposed to reject patients due to their religion, lifestyle, choices, etc. but she always felt like she was being judged. It could be the smallest movement, tone, or look and she’ll start to get anxiety. She feels as if people are there to help her yet they’re holding back somehow. She still hasn’t defined it as reality or just her mind overthinking but feeling that way when seeking help is wrong and sad. No one should feel that way when being brave and reaching out. Just because people have different life decisions than you don’t mean they’re to be treated differently. We’re all humans. We’re all trying to live our happiest and most comfortable lives.
-Darlina